Kelly’s Hockey Hate List

Whatever, so I copied Andrew’s idea. Suck my balls. Here’s my list of most hated NHL teams in order from loathe to love, along with reasons why. I hate your face too.

  1. Detroit Red Wings – Hard not to hate a team that’s been so good for so long
  2. Vancouver Canucks – Only reason they didn’t get #1 is because it’s so fun to watch them fail, but here’s why. (Fun fact, that post appears as the #2 link on Google when you search for “petulant brat”)
  3. Phoenix Coyotes – So whiney and ACTING!
  4. Nashville Predators – Always obnoxious to play
  5. St. Louis Blues – Meatheads with BBQ stains on their shirts
  6. San Jose Sha-arks – The Cubs of the NHL “THIS IS OUR YEAR!”
  7. Buffalo Sabres – Patrik Kaleta
  8. Winnipeg Jets – Patronizing to the military
  9. Montreal Canadiens – NOBODY CARES THAT YOU SPEAK FRENCH, JUST HIRE A GOOD COACH
  10. Anaheim Ducks – Getzlaf is fugly
  11. Columbus Blue Jackets – Awful team, awful city, awful state
  12. Florida Panthers – Versteeg’s mustache
  13. Carolina Hurricanes – Two Staal’s, One Semin is a porn title, not a roadmap to a Cup
  14. NY Rangers – Lundqvist is so damn handsome
  15. Washington Capitals – ALEX OVECHKIN IS SO ENTERTAIzzzzzzzzzzzz
  16. Los Angeles Kings – Although two of their players are the namesake of this blog, I hate them for not wearing the purple and gold all the time
  17. Pittsburgh Penguins – PHILLY IS SOOOOO MEAN YOU GUYS GAWD
  18. Toronto Maple Leafs – If I wanted to constantly read/hear about failing to meet expectations, I’d be a marriage counselor
  19. NY Islanders – Because Brooklyn is SO much better than Long Island
  20. Dallas Stars – I kind of hate them because my Social Security taxes pay for some of their roster I guess
  21. Minnesota Wild – Hard to hate a team that I could barely remember to include on this list
  22. Colorado Avalanche – Ummmm, whatever
  23. Ottawa Senators – I think their own fans hate them more than I could
  24. Calgary Flames – Fun to laugh at, like hating a clown, can’t really happen
  25. Philadelphia Flyers – They troll so hard. I like it.
  26. Boston Bruins – See above
  27. Tampa Bay Lightning – Stamkos one-time bombs
  28. Edmonton Oilers – Make me not feel so bad about my rec league team’s defense
  29. New Jersey Devils – Marty Brodeur. Fatty. Greatest goalie ever.
  30. Chicago Blackhawks – Won’t even bother here
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