Why Extrapolating Early Season Results Proves You’re a Moron

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Pictured: People who extrapolate early season results.

“The [Blackhawks, Sharks] are going to go 48-0-0 this year!” -Idiots

So, we’re 11 days into the 2013 NHL season, and already the meatheads and idiots are coming out of the woodwork. It’s a complete fucking pet peeve of mine (if you can’t tell already) when people non-jokingly extrapolate early season results. Team X will go undefeated! Player Y will score a bajillion goals! Goalie Z will only give up 24 goals this season! If you’ve ever uttered something along those lines because of the first half-dozen games of a season, you should be repeatedly assaulted by a rabid and horny wildebeest for the rest of your life.

There’s these things called “streaks.” Maybe you’ve heard of them? The Jets have lost 11 straight. The Blues have committed a felony in 7 straight games. Alex Ovechkin has offended Don Cherry in 451 straight games. That’s how these things work. Players and teams get off to hot or slow starts. Teams are adjusting to new coaches, systems, and teammates. Players are adjusting to new linemates or cities. I understand that in a condensed schedule like this, a half-dozen games are still critical, and a slow start for your favorite team or player is scary, but c’mon now. It’ll all come back to the mean. IT ALWAYS DOES (See Also: 2011-2012 Minnesota Wild).

So stop extrapolating. You’re not a statistician for doing that. You’re not enlightening anyone. You’re not “adding to the conversation.” Just stop it.

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